Category: August 2020

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August 2020

Bonus: Chadwick Boseman Forever đź–¤

My heart broke when I learned of the death of Chadwick Boseman. He had battled terminal colon cancer for the past four years. He was such a phenomenal actor. Some of his most notable roles involved him portraying historical African American figures (James Brown, Thurgood Marshall, Jackie Robinson…). He brought such a dignity and depth to each role.

Undoubtedly, his role as T’Challa in Black Panther will forever be in the hearts and minds of everyone…especially African Americans. He managed to complete this movie while enduring numerous treatments for his cancer. I can only imagine the amount of pain he was in. I can only imagine his level of fatigue. Having watched my own mother battle end stage cancer I am just floored at his resilience and determination.

My heart aches for his family and friends. He is resting with the ancestors. Well done young sir, well done

Chadwick Boseman Forever
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August 2020

Post #9: I started today in tears…

Today is my mom’s 71st birthday. I wish my mom was still here. Grief is a never ending process. Some days I am happy and cheerful. Then there are other days when I am extremely sad and angry. The latter usually occurs around major holidays and our (my mom and I) birthdays.

My mom used to tell me how sad it was that some babies lose their mom at birth. One of my biggest fears was losing my mom. She was significantly older than most of my peers parents. My mom survived breast cancer when I was around 4 or 5. After my grandmother died (I was 15), I would have thoughts and nightmares about losing my mom. Those thoughts would make me extremely anxious and depressed.

I am grateful for the 27 years we had to spend together. I just don’t think that they were enough. I had so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted us to start traveling together (she was never able to afford it). I don’t know if I will ever be 100% okay.

My mommy and my angel
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August 2020

Bonus: Why “Venus in September”?

Venus is the symbol for femininity and feminine energy. Romans worshipped Venus as the goddess of love and beauty. Also, it is powerful and related to the cosmic energy of the universe. The planet itself has a denser atmosphere and hotter temperature than Earth itself. From accepted research, it is completely uninhabitable save for the possibility of some extreme species of thermophiles.

Hottentot Venus was a “nickname” used to refer to Saartjie Baartman. She was a South African woman who was exploited throughout Europe. The exploitation related to the size of her body parts. She was touched and physically abused by individuals who paid money to exam her body. This example is only one instance of black women being abused and exploited by individuals in power (also look into the forced sterilization of black women and the gynecological experimentation on enslaved black women).

September is the month of my birth. According to my mommy, I technically was supposed to be born in October. My mom was in her early 40s when I was born. She had no other “successful” pregnancies. In a very short span of time, my mom had four miscarriages and one child who was severely premature and underdeveloped. It was not in the baby’s best interest to allow her (her name was Kimberly Dawn) to continue to live. I can never imagine the pain my mom had to go through to make that decision.

September is the 9th month of the year. In Christianity, the number 9 symbolizes completion. I have a lot of 9s in my birthdate. Often times when I have to give my birthdate, people remark about the repetition of the number 9. It’s not something that I’ve explored in depth but I am sure that it has some meaning.

In summation, I guess the blog name derives from a large number of concepts. These include mythology, cosmic energy, black women, numerology, Christianity and my own life story. I plan to link all of these topics (and more) as I continue my blogging experience.

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August 2020

Post #8: Love languages

Okay so I know that this is going to sound cliché but being single is a great time to discover things about yourself. One of the most important things you can discover is how you receive and feel love. This is called your love language.

There are five love languages: acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. Upon taking the 5 love languages test, I discovered that my two main love languages are acts of service and quality time.

Acts of service involves a person assisting me with a task or responsibility. “Thoughtfulness” sums up this idea in one word. For example, planning my mother’s funeral was a truly hard experience. I barely had the energy left to exist…let alone plan her service and arrangements. With my father being of no help, I truly appreciated the help of my two cousins (I view them as being my big sisters). They stepped in without me ever having to ask for assistance.

Quality time is pretty self-explanatory. I feel loved when I am around people I care about. This can be friends, family or the person I’m dating. To me, it means something that out of the one million things someone could be doing, they made the choice to spend that time with me. We don’t even have to be doing anything special. Don’t get me wrong, I mostly like living alone and having my personal space. However, I value spending time with people I care about.

Learning your love language now can be super beneficial if and when you enter into a partnership and relationship. However, knowing the love language of your family and friends can strengthen your relationship with them as well.

What is your love language?