Categories
November 2020

Post #14: Uncomfortable vulnerability

I have tried to avoid being vulnerable like the plague. All of my life, I have never had the luxury of being “soft”. The world does not allow girls (women) like me to be soft. Oftentimes, we aren’t the ones who get rescued. There aren’t fathers who are functional enough to protect us and shield us from the world. They are battling their own demons. We have to fight tooth and nail to rescue ourselves. This fact leads to the building of lifelong walls that are almost impossible to tear down.

However, I am opening up to the idea of being vulnerable. Losing my mom forced me to open up a level of vulnerability that exposed my emotions for the world to see. I’ve always believed that grief should not be for public consumption. At my mom’s funeral, I fought with everything in me not to cry at the service. I made the mistake of touching her body in the coffin. Her body was cold just like it had been when she was fighting for her life in ICU…hooked up to a ventilator. I couldn’t contain my grief after that.

As I age, I am learning to tear down walls I built in my youth. I’m more open to asking for help and admitting my mistakes. Who knows, maybe I’ll even end up letting go enough to fall in love…we’ll see

Categories
November 2020

Bonus: Preserve your sanity…log off

Please make a mental health plan for tomorrow and probably Wednesday as well. I plan on avoiding all news outlets and social media. Here are some ideas:

  1. Paint on a canvas
  2. Read or listen to an audiobook
  3. Meditate
  4. Call a friend or loved one
  5. Clean your house/apartment
  6. Light some candles
  7. Sage your space
  8. Listen to your favorite podcasts
  9. Watch stand up comedy specials
  10. Go to sleep early
  11. Cook or bake something
  12. Journal
  13. Listen to music
  14. Put your phone on do not disturb for a few hours
  15. Give yourself a home pedicure or manicure
  16. Color in a stress relief coloring book for grown folks