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August 2020

Bonus: Chadwick Boseman Forever 🖤

My heart broke when I learned of the death of Chadwick Boseman. He had battled terminal colon cancer for the past four years. He was such a phenomenal actor. Some of his most notable roles involved him portraying historical African American figures (James Brown, Thurgood Marshall, Jackie Robinson…). He brought such a dignity and depth to each role.

Undoubtedly, his role as T’Challa in Black Panther will forever be in the hearts and minds of everyone…especially African Americans. He managed to complete this movie while enduring numerous treatments for his cancer. I can only imagine the amount of pain he was in. I can only imagine his level of fatigue. Having watched my own mother battle end stage cancer I am just floored at his resilience and determination.

My heart aches for his family and friends. He is resting with the ancestors. Well done young sir, well done

Chadwick Boseman Forever
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August 2020

Post #9: I started today in tears…

Today is my mom’s 71st birthday. I wish my mom was still here. Grief is a never ending process. Some days I am happy and cheerful. Then there are other days when I am extremely sad and angry. The latter usually occurs around major holidays and our (my mom and I) birthdays.

My mom used to tell me how sad it was that some babies lose their mom at birth. One of my biggest fears was losing my mom. She was significantly older than most of my peers parents. My mom survived breast cancer when I was around 4 or 5. After my grandmother died (I was 15), I would have thoughts and nightmares about losing my mom. Those thoughts would make me extremely anxious and depressed.

I am grateful for the 27 years we had to spend together. I just don’t think that they were enough. I had so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted us to start traveling together (she was never able to afford it). I don’t know if I will ever be 100% okay.

My mommy and my angel
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July 2020

Post #7: I wrote this on January 2, 2019…

My best friend, my angel, my mother…we were two peas in a pod. We argued like sisters sometimes because we were both so stubborn. Your sense of humor was unparalleled. You became a mother at age 42 because you never gave up on bringing me into this world. I wouldn’t trade these 27 years for anything. You always said that you asked God to let you live long enough to see me be old enough to take care of myself. You told me last year that you were confident that I would be okay and that you could leave knowing that. I know I’ll see you again some day. My heart is completely broken but I know that you aren’t suffering anymore.

Posted to remind myself that no loss will ever be as hard as the loss of my mother ❤️

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July 2020

Post #4: When black and brown women leave us too soon…

On Monday, July 13th 2020, authorities found Naya Rivera’s drowned body. She was 33. Only 33. She left behind a 4 year old son. Reports say that she was able to lift her son back into the boat before drowning. Essentially, she sacrificed her life to save his.

She couldn’t have known that the trip to the lake would be her last. She was an accomplished actress and a supporter of the LGBTQ+ community. The former “Glee” actress had so much to look forward to…so much left to accomplish.

Whether it be by tragic circumstances (Naya Rivera and Breonna Taylor)…or by men who they hoped would protect, help and love them (Oluwatoyin Salau and Shana Donahue)…or by their own hands (Jas Waters), the deaths of black and brown women leave a hole in the world. A hole that could have only been filled by their work…they didn’t get a chance to complete it

How do we deal with the loss of black and brown women when they leave us too soon?