I’ve used dating apps/websites off and on for around 8-9 years to supplement my in person interactions. Of my at least 75-100 first dates, most have been from online websites/apps. From those dates, I’ve been in 3 relationships that started from online dating (including my current one).
So what are some of the good things about online dating? As an introvert, it is a good way to meet people in local and in different areas. I’ve been on some really good dates. I’ve also been able to date outside of my “type”.
There’s also the bad…I’ve had some horrible dates. I’ve had some guys not take rejection well. I’ve invested time in people who were not interested in the same thing. That can SUCK!!!
Here are some tips:
• Use 3 to 5 up-to-date photos including full body
• Keep your bio effective and concise
• Do not overshare personal information
• Make sure (as much as possible) that you and the person you are communicating with have similar intentions for being on the site
• Communicate with the person for at least a few days to a week on the site before taking your communication off-line
• When initially exchanging contact information, do not give out your personal cell phone number. Give the person a Google voice number, a WhatsApp contact or something similar.
• Do not send anyone money
• Google that man or a woman before meeting
• Do not let them pick you up from your house. Try to arrange for a Uber or a Lyft if you do not have your own transportation.
• Meet in a public setting when you feel comfortable. Do not let the person pressure you into meeting any sooner than that.
• Pay attention to behaviors during the date
• Don’t be discouraged if this person doesn’t work out or if you only go on one date.
• Keep your options open until you find someone who you really like and have formed some type of relationship with them or until you feel comfortable with ceasing communication with others
• Stay optimistic, there’s at least one lid for every pot
Suggested free websites
Have you tried online dating?
I. TURNED. 30
As a refresher, let me start with just a little about myself. I am an AA woman. I work in research and tech. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTJ. I am in a relationship. I am a Virgo. My interests include music, art, science, travel, public health and women’s issues.
So, what did I do during my birthday trip? My bf and I traveled to the Washington DC area which is one of my favorite places. We ate a bunch of amazing food. We ordered takeout from amazing places like Nandos and Souvlaki Bar. We tried short rib poutine and bao buns at other restaurants. We stumbled across some of the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life near Georgetown. My boyfriend tried Jeni’s ice cream and Georgetown cupcakes for the first time (which I already loved). I tried Limoncello❤️
We did some shopping at a few places including Pentagon Row, Crystal City Shops and the Fashion Centre at Pentagon City. We also “completed” the Saddlewood Saloon escape room at Bonds Escape Room Arlington.
Next, what did I learn in my 20s? I learned the following:
• The importance of loving the people in your life fiercely while they are here
• Ridding myself of people and things that do not serve me
Last, what am I looking forward to in my 30s?
• Covid ending
• Watching my nieces/godbabies grow up
• Transitioning into a new level of friendship with my besties
• Growing my career
• Being less afraid
• Entering into a romantic partnership/marriage
• Potentially having children/adopting
• Paying off debt
So what have you learned or what are you looking forward to learning in your 30s?
Take my hand and guide me down to your studio
It’s where you keep you keep your most prized possessions
Place a fresh white canvas on a worn ebony easel
Pose me perfectly beside you…positioned to fit your desire
Sketch my form, outline all my curves and edges
Open your special art box, the one covered in many colors
Open the darkest shade of mahogany and the lightest shade of red
Maneuver your perfectly angled brush in just the right way…to compliment your sketch
Start with my outside, then trace my inside
No room for mistakes, everything you do is just right
Step back and enjoy the beauty of what you just created
Come over to release me from my frozen state
I have tried to avoid being vulnerable like the plague. All of my life, I have never had the luxury of being “soft”. The world does not allow girls (women) like me to be soft. Oftentimes, we aren’t the ones who get rescued. There aren’t fathers who are functional enough to protect us and shield us from the world. They are battling their own demons. We have to fight tooth and nail to rescue ourselves. This fact leads to the building of lifelong walls that are almost impossible to tear down.
However, I am opening up to the idea of being vulnerable. Losing my mom forced me to open up a level of vulnerability that exposed my emotions for the world to see. I’ve always believed that grief should not be for public consumption. At my mom’s funeral, I fought with everything in me not to cry at the service. I made the mistake of touching her body in the coffin. Her body was cold just like it had been when she was fighting for her life in ICU…hooked up to a ventilator. I couldn’t contain my grief after that.
As I age, I am learning to tear down walls I built in my youth. I’m more open to asking for help and admitting my mistakes. Who knows, maybe I’ll even end up letting go enough to fall in love…we’ll see
I used to think that 30 was old. In my mind, 30 was the age in which I would need to have my entire life together…professional, social, emotional, mental, romantic and financial. Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Society does a good job of shaming people for not having everything figured out by 25. I’m guilty of pushing those beliefs on myself. I have learned in these 29 years that life is about continuous growth and development. No one truly has everything together. There’s always room for improvement. However, it is important to stop and be thankful for all that you have accomplished. Life is not always pretty. Even hard moments have contributed to developing your resilience.
I’m going to make it my priority to live and love as hard as I can. I’m looking forward to enjoying the journey. #thisis29